


our love is god

by idaate



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: M/M, Other characters are mentioned but don't show up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2018-09-21 23:58:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9572648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idaate/pseuds/idaate
Summary: (completely rewritten and reposted 10/29/2017)[ MAJOR V3 SPOILERS ]Kokichi stands in front of his bathroom mirror and hums “one, two, kiss, kiss,” as he brings his finger from his lips to the mirror and back again. He’s half convinced that Himiko put an ugly love hex on him, one as ugly as she is, but chases the thought away.There’s nothing wrong with gentle lies, after all. They’re a necessity, and he’d be the first to tell anyone that..Or, the cliché of "the three times Kokichi Ouma kissed a boy, and the one time he didn't."





	

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT 10/29/2017:   
> I ended up thinking about this story a lot and looking back at it and realizing how badly written it was and how I would change so many scenes it it LOL so I rewrote the entire thing aha.
> 
> If you read the original draft, congrats! Although this follows the same structure of the first fic, it's completely rewritten (especially the end) so you can read this as an entirely new fic. If you didn't read the original draft, congrats again! It's especially an entirely new fic for you.

The first time Kokichi kisses a boy, he intends for it to seem natural. A seductively teasing glance, a masterful tongue, like there never even  _ was _ a first time. He’s watched romance flicks, seen couples intertwine hands and tongues in the park while he sits back and pretends to stare at the sky while planning a new heist.

He’s remembering seeing members of DICE kiss each other when they successfully steal a world-famous jewel or something, butting each other in the heads with masks they've forgotten to remove and giggling all the while.

That being said, Rantaro seems like a natural choice for a first kiss; he’s mysterious and cool and Kokichi is mysterious and cool too so it’s a match made in heaven (or hell), right?   
  
Kokichi makes the first move, grasping Rantaro by the wrist and spinning him around to face him, pout stretched firmly across his face as he motions at his lips. Rantaro gets the message.

“This isn’t really happening,” Rantaro says, leaning in and pecking his cheek.

“Of course not,” Kokichi soothes, and repays the favor without hesitation, eagerly, maybe a little bit too eagerly but whatever.   
  
He’s almost forgotten that it’s his first time kissing a boy, kissing anyone, but he’s just too damn excited to care and his teeth clash disjointedly with Rantaro’s, giggling nervously at the taller boy’s little comment on his experience and  _ shit _ , he shouldn't be this happy over something he knows is fake.

All remembrance of the videos he’s watched and the kissing sessions he’s spied on goes straight out the window, but who cares? He wishes it seemed like his first time but it sure as hell doesn’t so who cares, who cares, who cares, no one cares because they're going to be dead soon.

“This isn’t really happening,” Rantaro repeats, the tiniest bit of nervousness in his voice, and Kokichi wonders if it’s a joke or if the boy is just that disgusted with him. Maybe it’s Rantaro’s first time as well, maybe it was his thousandth time and Kokichi was just a last minute glow, maybe he’s pathetically out of his league. But fuck it, this is the best he’s felt since--   
  
Since--   
  
Since what?   
  
He touches upon some sort of memory like fingers running down the spines of long-forgotten books and Rantaro’s fingers run down his cheek, and he doesn't care.

Rantaro holds onto him before he turns away and reminds him firmly that there's nothing between them, that that was a kiss and nothing more, and Kokichi snorts and waves a hand.

“I know you’d never love someone like  _ me!”  _ he sing songs, and he hates it when Rantaro’s eyes fill with pity. “That was a lie, nishishi! I’ve stolen Amami-chan’s heart, completely and totally!”

“It's not you, I just--” Rantaro breathes through his nose. “I don't really like  _ anyone  _ like that, and I never will. And that's… that’s alright.”

  
.

  
Kokichi stands in front of his bathroom mirror and hums “one, two, kiss, kiss,” as he brings his finger from his lips to the mirror and back again. He’s half convinced that Himiko put an ugly love hex on him, one as ugly as she is, but chases the thought away. 

Rantaro’s kiss brings with it memories of DICE embracing him and promising him that they’re his family, that it’s not a lie, even though it  _ is  _ a sticky icky lie that even  _ Kokichi  _ would be ashamed to tell, but he chases such thoughts away in the spur of the moment. There’s nothing wrong with gentle lies, after all. They’re a necessity, and he’d be the first to tell anyone that.

He lies on his bed and repeats “one, two, kiss, kiss” till he finds himself counting lovestruck sheep that rock him to sleep.

  
.   


  
Rantaro's body is waiting for him when he wakes up and Kokichi wishes that he knew little enough not to know why.

“This isn’t really happening,” says Rantaro in his head as Kokichi stares at the crumpled up form.   
  
“This isn’t really happening,” says Shuuichi as Kaede Akamatsu dangles from a rope.   
  
“This isn’t really happening,” thinks Kokichi as he laughs and laughs and  _ laughs. _   


  
.   
  


“Pardon me... Ouma-kun?”   
  
The second murder is done and over with and Kokichi isn’t surprised at all in the slightest, though he’d certainly be a liar (ha!) if he said he wasn’t disappointed. He stretches and stares at Kiibo through half lidded eyes.   
  
“Oh look, it’s my favorite robot!” he hums, sitting at one of the chairs in the cafeteria. “What would dear little Kiiboy want to do with me, hm?”   
  
Kiibo winces slightly at the nickname, and Kokichi grins. “I was simply here to inquire on your opinions of Monokuma’s supposed death. I’m not… quite certain what to make of Monodam overthrowing the other bear. It’s confusing, to say the least.”   
  
“Do you think someone’s gonna overthrow  _ you,  _ Kiiboy?” Kokichi hums, and Kiibo scratches his chin, frowning. “Seriously, as if you have any sort of status that would make people want to overthrow you. That’s the sort of bliss that you get since you’re at the bottom of the social ladder!”

“I… suppose so,” Kiibo says, “but I still would like an explanation from you. You’re a supreme leader, correct? So you must have experience with these sorts of things, to some extent.”

Kokichi swings his legs back and forth, counting the way they hit the wall with twos, threes, and fours before deciding to answer.   
  
“Well, sometimes love makes people do stupid things!”   
  
“L-love?!” Kiibo sputters. “I don’t see how ‘love’ factors into anything in this situation, frankly…”   
  
“That’s cause you’re a dumb robot!” Kokichi sticks out his tongue, and Kiibo seems to retreat even further into himself.   
  
“Please, do not discriminate!” He puts his hands on his hips, and Kokichi’s tempted to laugh from how awkward the movement looks. “Just because I am a robot does not prevent me from experiencing ‘love’ and the like - I’ve grown up to be just like a high school student, similar to all of you!”   
  
“Then, have you ever had a crush on someone?”   
  
“Wh-what?” Kiibo sputters.   
  
“Have you ever experienced the forbidden robot to human love?” Kokichi wiggles his eyebrows. “Nishi, what a naughty robot we have on our hands here! Though one with a pretty cliche outlook, I must admit…”   
  
“That isn’t just something you should ask people out of the blue!” Kiibo begins to heat up, and Kokichi snorts at how even the  _ robot  _ is more human than he is.   
  
“But you’re not a person, yeah? You’re just a dumb bucket of bolts!”   
  
“As I’ve stated time after time, I’m a student, just like all of you--”   
  
“Then prove it to me.”   
  
Kiibo pauses. “Pardon?”   
  
“Prove it to me that you can feel love, just like everyone else here.” Kokichi leans forward. “Kiss me!”   
  
Kiibo stares at him. “I’m still… not quite sure as to why this is relevant as to why Monodam overthrew Monokuma.”   
  
Kokichi scoffs. “That was bee-ess! I’m a liar, and you know it.” He stands up, on his tip-toes so that he can look Kiibo in the eye without looking up at him. “But are you going to kiss me, or not? It would be  _ super-duper  _ rude to just refuse me, now!”   
  
Kiibo looks at him the same disgusting way Rantaro had, and Kokichi would’ve punched him had he not been made out of metal.   
  
“...alright,” he whispers, and Kokichi goes in. It’s so different, so much more different than the kiss with Rantaro, there’s no teeth clashing, no wild fear of being discovered, and although he’s regretful of the facts (it’s not like he cared about rantaro, kokichi didn’t care about rantaro in the slightest, it’s not like it ever really happened) there’s another appeal that makes him enjoy this kiss. Sure, Kiibo is a robot and his mouth tastes like shit, but the thrill of doing this in the middle of the cafeteria, the thrill of kissing a robot, that’s--   
  
(that’s just disgusting as he is)   
  
He’s the one that pulls away first this time, and winks. “So? What did you think?”   
  
Kiibo blinks several times. “It wasn’t… an unpleasant experience.”   
  
Kokichi grins. “Now you can try it with Iruma-chan, hm?”

Kiibo practically short-circuits in front of his eyes and goes off on another tangent about how he’ll sue Kokichi, and it goes in one ear and out the other.   


  
.   


  
If he kisses a robot a second time, it doesn’t technically count as kissing a  _ boy  _ because it’s a robot not a boy. But if someone kisses  _ him,  _ then they’re kissing a monster, not a boy, so it technically doesn’t count as a  _ boy  _ either. That was just the way the tables turned, huh?

Kokichi laughs at the ceiling and flicks a candy wrapper in the direction of Rantaro’s statue. He doodles stick figures holding hands in fields of roses and daisies and carnations and orchids and other flowers that he can’t think of long into the night, and when he wakes up he almost doesn’t curse all the time that he wasted doing so.   


  
.   


 

Miu Iruma is dead and it’s Kokichi’s fault, he declares it to be so as Gonta cries and tries to make everyone promise to keep being his friend afterwards. Kokichi would rather die than let them keep that promise, and so he does.

Kiibo is sad,  _ incredibly  _ sad and Kokichi is glad that kissing a robot was so disgusting that it’s something he’ll never find himself missing.

He changes Gonta’s status to ‘deceased’ on his board, and changes the little doodle of himself on the board from a grin to a silly tongue sticking it’s way out of his mouth. He smiles and wonders if anyone will keep updating his board when he’s dead and gone.

Someone knocks on the door, and Kokichi wonders who would be foolish enough to come to him  _ now  _ of all times. He weighs his chances of it being Maki, decides that it doesn’t matter, and skips over to open the door.   
  
Shuuichi is standing there, and Kokichi remembers the accusatory finger he pointed in his direction as he declared how alone he would always be. He steps forward and closes the door behind him, winking. “What a surprise! Saihara-chan, what brings you to my humble domain?”   
  
Shuuichi stares at him. “Ouma-kun, please,” he says tiredly, “I’m here to talk to you.”   
  
“About what? About how everyone’s planning on killing me?” Kokichi claps his hands together. “Oh, or should I commit suicide? So no one else has to die? Wouldn’t that just be super duper?”   
  
Shuuichi winces. “...you don’t have to phrase it like that.” He murmurs, and runs his hand through his hair.

“Hm, hm hm hmm! So that’s the case.” Kokichi taps his chin. “Yeah… thinking it over, as the mastermind, I can’t just let you kill me just like that! Nor can I commit suicide or whatever you want to call it.” He waves an idle hand. “So your trip here is practically useless!”

Shuuichi rests his fingers over his own neck and sighs. “I don’t know why I bothered coming here.”

“Me neither!” Kokichi chirps. “Hey hey, Saihara-chan, I just changed my mind. You’re allowed to kill me, and I’ll help you and all that, but only on  _ one  _ condition!”

Shuuichi’s hand strays to his chin, and Kokichi loves how eagerly he leaps onto the suggestion of his death. “...okay?” he says, hesitantly, and then, “Okay. I’ll hear you out.”

“You have to kiss me!” Kokichi taps his lips and puckers them up. “A kiss for a kill. Like Romeo and Juliet! Except, that’s not it, because they both committed suicide because they both loved each other or something, I dunno, I’m not Shirogane-chan!” He flaps his hands in front of his face. “Though she’d only know the shitty anime knock-off, so maybe we shouldn’t be relying on her!”

Shuuichi blinks at him blankly. “A kiss,” he says.

“A kiss!” Kokichi repeats.

“I don’t…” Shuuichi breathes through his teeth, “I don’t necessarily want to… want to  _ kill  _ you…”

“But other people do, and you don’t want them to die, and you want to die, right?” Kokichi hums. “Sooo… this all works out pretty well in your favor, in my opinion!”   
  
There’s a nervous twiddling of fingers, and with a mutter of ‘alright, I’ll do it’ Shuuichi leans in and kisses Kokichi.   
  
It’s the kiss Kokichi never knew he was lacking, a kiss that sends life coursing through his veins and feeling through his system all over again and Shuuichi is so beautiful, so wonderful, so kind and he’s everything that Kokichi ever wanted and who cares that he hates him because whoops, two people died because of him and who cares that he’s probably going to die from the boy’s hands soon, he’s here and real despite all the death that surrounds Kokichi and--   
  
Shuuichi pulls away. “Was that enough for you?”   
  
Kokichi wants to say no, of course fucking not let him be selfish for the last time in his life, but he sees Kaede Akamatsu in Shuuichi’s eyes and bites his lip.   
  
“Sorry, Saihara-chan,” he says, putting one hand behind his head and the other on his doorknob, “but I lied! I get the kiss and you don’t get to kill me. Sucks for you, but what did you expect from a liar like me? Better make like a tree and leave!”   
  
“Ouma--”   
  
_ “Leave.” _

Shuuichi obeys.

  
.   


  
Kokichi doesn’t fall asleep that night and he doesn’t wish that Shuuichi loved him and he doesn’t wish that anyone loved him because he knows he never deserved it and he never will deserve it.   
  


.   


  
Kokichi’s battered chest heaves up and down as Kaito drags him across the floor like a ragdoll and he wonders if his kiss with Rantarou actually wasn't his first, just the first he remembered.

“You kissed Amami?” Kaito says, and Kokichi blinks through jeweled eyelashes. Did he say that out loud? Whoops.

“Yeah, sure did,” he says in what’s supposed to be a playful tone but sounds strained, even to his own ears. “What? Did you want me to kiss you too?”

Kaito doesn't answer, but he does jolt Kokichi a little as he continues to pull him along and it  _ hurts,  _ but Kokichi doesn't complain. If he can't get a kiss from Kaito, he’s content with his back kissing the floor.

But Kaito says, “I can-- I can kiss you if you, really fuckin’ want to,” long after Kokichi’s forgotten about the question and he’s been laid onto the metal press, and he raises a shaking eyebrow. Huh. Color him surprised.

“Does Momota-chan want to fulfill the final wish of a dying child? Like a  _ real  _ hero?” Kokichi coos, and Kaito clenches his teeth. But the pity doesn't disappear from his eyes, and that was what Kokichi had intended to do, so of course he fails in his final most pettiest of endeavors as well.

He turns his head with what little energy he can and looks at the place where he stabbed his own fingers just to prove that Shuuichi wouldn't fix them up, except he did. “Yeah, no thanks,” he drawls, “your breath stinks. And you're ugly.”

“H-hey,” Kaito sputters, “you’re not one to talk about fucking breath!

Kokichi laughs even though it hurts.

  
.

  
  
If he tries really hard, in the split second before Kokichi splatters across the ground like a ruined art project, he can pretend that he's not kissing the hydraulic press but--

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments and kudos if you enjoyed!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [the sea of sin](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9654575) by [cloudydragon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudydragon/pseuds/cloudydragon)




End file.
